He’s primitive yet smart, ornery yet agreeable (when he chooses to be) and has very little interest in “acceptable behaviour.”
This little Neanderthal has brought utter mayhem to our house. Every day he pulls out all toys in sight and tosses them around the house; uses various tools – toy cars, cups, food, other items within reach – as projectiles to strike people and furniture at will; hits, tackles and kicks with learned precision; searches for signs of vulnerability (e.g. a relaxed stance) then thunders in like a bull, hard skull pointing forward, full force. All of this while grinning and giggling with an infectious laugh. *sigh*
Who is this creature?
husband 21-month-old toddler. Yep, a Neanderthal. Except with less body hair. He (“B”) is our youngest, and he’s driving us up the wall these days.
Every day is a new adventure. It’s kind of like riding a rollercoaster in the dark… we never know what the next moment will bring, just that we need to hold on (to our patience) for dear life.
image source: Google Images
It takes strategy, physical agility and swiftness to get him into his car seat when he doesn’t want to be there. Screaming is often involved, closely followed by excitement at the cool things he sees out the car window.
Then, upon arrival, I lift him out of his car seat and set him down in the parking lot. He doesn’t want to hold my hand and decides to enact his “rubber legs” manoeuvre where he crumples to the ground. Yes, in the parking lot. Awesome.
But, I do have choices: reason with him (doesn’t work), drag him along the ground by his arm (tempting when I’m desperate, but not a real option), or simply pick him up. You’d think the latter, right? Hah – that means screaming ensues again, this time with crying and kicking. But then… he sees a construction truck (“DIGGER!”) across the street and his frustration is immediately forgotten.
I then comment on the exciting digger, carry him into daycare (which thankfully is a place he loves), drop him off and stagger out, looking as if I’ve been through a natural disaster – exhausted, hair disheveled, clothes covered with footprints, face red from trying to keep my temper in check. All at the beginning of the day.
And B is very adventurous. My husband left him alone in the kitchen for a couple of minutes, returned and found him sitting in the middle of the counter. Then later I left him in his room for a minute, came back and found him sitting on top of his dresser.
Where did my incredibly happy and easygoing little guy go? I swear he was here mere months ago. And now… Neanderthal Boy. He tests us at every move, taking great pleasure in his newfound “independence” by doing the exact opposite of what we ask him to do or not do.
Thankfully, he tempers all of this with his characteristic charm, giggles and great hugs. And I realize that his physical, mental and emotional capabilities will continue to develop for a long time, and all of this is normal and just a phase. But frankly, we’re pretty tired.
There’s hope though. His big brother used to be a Neanderthal toddler too, and has since developed into a wonderful, empathetic and fun six-year-old.
So for now, I guess we’ll all just put on protective bodysuits, cushion our furniture and wait it out…